Is nursing for me?

Lately I’ve been debating whether I’ll make a good nurse or not. It all started two weeks ago when on a Monday morning I looked out the living room window and saw a few police cars and the coroner at my neighbor’s house. I knew right away that someone had passed away, it was an eerily similar view of when my cousin passed almost exactly seven years prior. I spent the entire morning coming up with a whole whack of scenarios as to what happened and who had passed. At one point I was even wondering if they both passed away because of carbon monoxide poisoning (they had their furnace changed the week before). I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to do something so later that day after a lot of friends and family had arrived I snuck over and brought them trays of food. A few days later I found out that it was their 23 year old daughter who had suffered from a brain aneurism during the night. I was hoping and praying that it was an elderly relative who had died, I never once considered one of their children.

The reason this situation started me questioning my career choice is because I just couldn’t stop crying. I spent days just looking across the street at the seemingly calm home knowing the sorrow and chaos that was going on inside and I would just start weeping. So this is the question I’ve been asking myself… How am I going to be able to handle death without completely breaking down? How am I going to console family members while I’m weeping? Heaven forbid a child is involved, I would just lose it.  I mean seriously I can’t even watch a commercial about peanut butter without crying. I think my empathy will help me be a great nurse I’ve just got to learn to get a hold of my emotions. If only I knew how!

 On a happier note I just got 92% on my latest anatomy exam wooo go me!